Missing
by Rockabye
Summary: NOT SLASH! Ok, that's done... This is yet another one of my song-fics... It's about Ponyboy after Johnny and Dally's death, and how it affected him. Dedicated 2 BMW, anon. reviewer. Please r/r... VERY SAD/DRAMATIC, Please get tissues BEFORE reading...


Yay! Songfics! Someone here on Fanfiction.net has a story entitled Songfics Heaven... that's gonna  
be my new nickname (cuz I'm Heaven, and i do song-fics... hahahaha *laughs at unfunny joke*   
*becomes emabarrassed* nevermind....) Anyway, my mom is on a scary mp3 downloading frenzy and   
I was listening to her songs when I came across "Missing" by Everything But The Girl. I love this  
song, and since I'm a crazy person on a writing frenzy I figured I would write yet another songfic  
until I finsh one of the 3 sequels to "Life as a Greaser" that I am working on, AND Angel's story  
that she is having me complete. It's a wonder I want to do this anymore. LoL, anyway, I want to go  
ahead and make a dedication to the anonymous review who calls themselves BMW... I want to thank  
you personally for your sweet reviews... the day I go the first one had been horrible, I was fighting  
with a friend over a boy, and the other boy I like totally ignored me all that day (even though we  
are like best friends) and then I got a really awful email from a family member, and we were fighting...  
but enough about my life that day, it was just really bad, and then when I read your reviews for  
"Higher..." I broke down and cried... but they were happy tears. LoL. You are so nice! Thanks again,  
for all of your reviews, including the ones for "Life as a Greaser"... I was actually online, reading  
those reviews as you clicked the submit button, cuz I have them sent to my mailbox. But anywho!  
Thanks again, and you demanded more, so, uh, this ones for you...  
Again, it's to "Missing" by Everything But The Girl... I don't own the song or the band. I also don't  
own any characters unless I say I do... I don't know who's gonna be in this, but the following people  
own themselves.  
I, Heaven Marquin, own myself, Heaven Marquin.  
Angel Marquin owns herself.  
Jade West-Curtis owns herself (and sometimes Sodapop, LoL, j/k)  
I, Heaven Marquin, own Taylor Winston, (sorry Angel I'm stealing your words) despite his many  
protests.  
I, Heaven Marquin, co-own Charity Campbell-Curry (lol, 3 c's! Yay!)... She owns the other half.  
Joe Curry is owned by Angel... and then by Charity on the weekends and at night...  
I don't know if I forgot anyone, but I sure hope not.  
So here goes!  
  
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~   
  
~*step off the train,  
I'm walking down your street again,  
and past your door,  
but you don't live there anymore*~  
  
I jumped down of the train, and slung my bag over my shoulder. I hadn't been here in months, but  
it felt like years. Tears formed in my eyes, memories flooding back to me. The last time I was here,  
I was scared little ole Ponyboy Curtis. But know, I didn't know who I was.   
  
~*It's years since you've been there.  
Now you've disappeared somewhere  
like outer space,  
you've found some better place*~  
  
I walked to the church... or rather, what was left of it. The fire had destroyed almost everything   
there ('Including Johnny'), and all that was left was cinged beams, and a blackened floor. But  
that's not what I was here for.  
  
~*and I miss you  
- like the deserts miss the rain  
and I miss you  
-like the deserts miss the rain*~  
  
It didn't seem like I had spent a fear-filled week of my life in this place. I couldn't remember  
the fire, I don't think I wanted to. But it was unimportant. Falling to my knees, tears fell from  
my eyes. I curled into a little ball. There was no comfort for me, I couldn't get over it. And all  
I wanted was Johnny.   
  
~*Could you be dead?  
You always were two steps ahead  
of everyone.  
We'd walk behind while you would run*~  
  
Johnny. Johnnycakes. The glue of the Greasers. Everyone was shocked by the whole thing, Johnny's  
death, then Dally's death ('suicide?')... but I took it harder than evryone. No one knew how I felt,  
no one understood. It was my fault Johnny had died, and they didn't see it. They didn't know.   
If I wouldn't have run out on Darry, I wouldn't have met Johnny, we wouldn't have been at the park,  
he wouldn't have... he wouldn't have... my train of thought was broken by rib-cracking sobs coming  
from me. And just then, the rain started.  
  
~*I look up at your house,  
and I can almost hear you shout  
down to me  
where I always used to be*~  
  
"PONYBOY!" Johnny's screams echoed through my brain. All I could hear was his voice, I could only  
feel his hands on my head from when he cut my hair, I could only see his face. His eyes, those deep  
eyes, that made you think twice about the ways of the world.   
  
I didn't believe in God. When I was little, I guess you could say I did, or at least believed in something,  
but how could I now? If God was such a great person, he wouldn't have taken my only friend. Johnny  
had been my only friend. He had been Dally's only friend. And when Johnny died, Dally didn't want   
to live anymore. That was the plan. But Johnnys death had ended two peoples lives. Mine too.   
  
~*and I miss you -  
like the deserts miss the rain  
and I miss you  
-like the deserts miss the rain*~  
  
I stood up. I felt my whole body shaking, I almost saw myself shaking, as though I wasn't me anymore.  
Crazy what you think when you're depressed. Grabbing my bag, I hoofed it all the way back to the  
train station. In the rain. It poured, as though the sky was crying. The angels were crying for me.  
  
Johnny was crying for me.  
  
The train ride back was just plain heartwrenching. I remembered that night, we were so scared, the  
two of us. We were afraid because we didn't know just what we had done. The innocents are always  
more frightened when they do wrong. I guess that's the way I was. Back then. I didn't care anymore.  
Why did I even bother anymore? Coming to the chruch would do no good, Soda had told me. I needed closure.  
  
I guess the last place you'll get that is the place that killed your friend.  
  
~*Back on the train,  
I ask why did I come again.  
Can I confess  
I've been hanging around your old address?*~   
  
It's been awhile since we buried Johnny. Too long to remember, but never too long too forget. My  
head told me that Johnny would be in a better place, now that he was gone. But my heart, my selfish  
heart wanted my friend. Would he forgive me when I saw him next? Would it matter that I put my  
needs first, before his? Johnny didn't deserve what he had gotten. His life was hell. His death  
was hell... Johnny Cade was an Angel banished to hell. He was the best of the gang, he was everyones  
better half. And now he's gone. But...  
  
What good is a better half six feet under?  
  
~*And the years have proved  
to offer nothing since you moved.  
You're long gone  
but I can't move on*~  
  
Johnny hadn't been made for this world. He was set on good, and he was born into a world of hatred.  
Everything that was worth Johnny's touch was only found in fairy tales. He was a square peg trying  
to fit into a round whole his whole life, and the fire might have been the best thing for him... he  
didn't deserve the evils of the world.   
  
~*and I miss you -  
like the deserts miss the rain  
and I miss you  
-like the deserts miss the rain  
miss you, and I miss you*~  
  
The train slowly came to a stop. I grabbed my bag, and jumped onto the platform. I took off running,  
for someplace, anyplace familiar. And where I ended up was in front of Johnny's house. I looked inside,  
and saw the shadows of two people fighting. Heard the screams, heard the glass break. Johnny wasn't  
there, and it didn't matter.  
  
~*I step off the train,  
I'm walking down your street again,  
and past your door,  
I guess you don't live there anymore*~  
  
It had only been a few months since Johnny had died, since Dally had died. But it felt like years.  
I had become hard, different. I was traitor. Johnny's only request of me was to stay the way I am,  
gold. But that's the way I was. Life had become a monotonous, never ending trail of tears for me.  
All I wanted was Johnny. My best friend. And I realized that I needed to be at the park.  
  
~*It's years since you've been there.  
Now you've disappeared somewhere  
like outer space,  
you've found some better place*~  
  
I sat down on the edge of the water fountain and looked around. So this is where Bob and Randy  
and the rest of the Socs had jumped us. I hadn't had the strenght to come back since that night,  
but now that I had been to the church in Windrixville, what did it matter?   
I reached into my bag, and pulled out the stack of letters. Sodapop, Darry, Two-Bit, the whole gang.  
One for everybody. Not Johnny. Not Dally. They weren't getting theirs. I'd give it to them in person.  
  
~*and I miss you -  
like the deserts miss the rain  
and I miss you, yea  
-like the deserts miss the rain  
I miss you, yea I miss you...*~  
  
I reached into my bag and pulled out Dally's old heater. The one he had had that night Johnny had   
died, the night he had... the police had given it to us with the rest of his belongings after...  
it didn't matter. More tears escaped my eyes. But this time, the heater wasn't a bluff. I missed   
Johnny so bad, it hurt inside... it never stopped hurting.   
  
Maybe this would make it stop.  
  
"I'm coming Johnny..."  
  
~*and I miss you -  
like the deserts miss the rain (deserts miss the rain)  
like the deserts miss the rain (like the deserts miss the rain)  
like the deserts miss the rain  
and I miss you  
like the deserts miss the rain  
oh, and I miss you   
like the deserts miss the rain...*~  
  
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~   
Eek, I didn't mean for that to turn out like that! OMG I had a plan, the story was just supposed to  
be Ponyboy remembering at the church but as I listened to the song (I think I listened to it 8 times  
while I wrote this), I thought, hey it'd be cool if he remembered this when he was here, and the   
lyrics of the song sorta just led me to the conculsion... OMG! That was scary how that came about.  
But I hope everyone liked it. And since I am not gonna do another chapter, so I won't get to thank  
anyone later, I'll do it ahead of time... Thank you guys so much for wasting your time on me, it  
really means alot when people read my stories and like them...   
I ended up not using any of the people that are self-owned (or owned by others, Haha on Joe  
and Taylor), but if you are wondering who the flip they are, you can read about them in my story  
called "Life As A Greaser" and then you can read "I'll Be That Girl" and "The Color of Green", posted  
under the name "Pixie Moon Angel".... read them, they rock!  
The first one ("I'll be That Girl") was wrtten by Miss Angel Marquin herself... she's my big sis.  
And "The Color of Green" was written by Jade West-Curtis. They are both really good. You should read  
"I'll be that Girl" before "The Color of Green" and "Life as a Greaser", cuz it's sorta the basis  
for the other stories.   
But enough of my babble. Hope ya enjoyed it, please review! I love reviews!!! *begs on hands  
and knees*  
Be GrEaSeRy!  
Two Fingerz All,  
~*Rockabye*~ AKA Heaven Marquin-Curtis-Winston-Shrieves (#11, YEA BABY!!! *does cream corn slide* lol  
rainy... btw email me I miss ya, girl!) and her conscience, Jiminy Snail, who is of no relation  
to Jiminy Cricket...  
¥  
That would be Jiminy... 


End file.
